What Do You Do With a Loved One's Belongings After They Die?
Sorting through a loved one's belongings after they die is one of the hardest parts of grief — and one of the least talked about. The short answer: start with the stories behind the things, not the things themselves, and give yourself permission to go at whatever pace you need. In this episode of the GRIEF Ladies Podcast, Kelly and Karyn sit down with decluttering specialist Janine McDonald to explore the emotional and practical realities of going through someone's stuff.
Why Is This So Much Harder Than It Sounds?
It's rarely the furniture that stops people in their tracks. More often it's the small things — a pillbox, a well-worn hat, something that seems insignificant to everyone else but holds an entire relationship inside it. Janine explains that objects carry stories, and those stories are what make this process so emotionally complex. Her approach isn't about tidying up — it's about understanding what something meant before deciding what to do with it.
Research from the American Psychological Association identifies decision-making as one of the most cognitively taxing tasks during bereavement, as grief significantly affects attention, memory, and executive function — which helps explain why even small choices about belongings can feel impossible.
How Do You Move Forward Without Feeling Like You're Letting Go of the Person?
This is where the episode gets really good. Janine shares specific, compassionate strategies for when you want to keep everything, when family members disagree, when there's no sentimental meaning but releasing something still feels wrong, and how to repurpose items that can't be used the way they were intended. She also offers one practical gut-check question that Karyn said she'll be thinking about for a long time.
The through-line of everything Janine shares: the memories live in you, not in the objects.
Listen to the full episode (https://youtu.be/9OXwDgETf6E?si=Ky5BkdP1RfvObfWI) to hear Janine's step-by-step approach, her real client stories, and her advice for anyone who feels completely stuck on where to even begin.
