What Do You Do With a Loved One's Belongings After They Die?
What to do with a loved one’s belongings when they die?
Sorting through a loved one's belongings after they die is one of the hardest parts of grief — and one of the least talked about. The short answer: start with the stories behind the things, not the things themselves, and give yourself permission to go at whatever pace you need. In this episode of the GRIEF Ladies Podcast, Kelly and Karyn sit down with decluttering specialist Janine McDonald to explore the emotional and practical realities of going through someone's stuff.
Why Is This So Much Harder Than It Sounds?
It's rarely the furniture that stops people in their tracks. More often it's the small things — a pillbox, a well-worn hat, something that seems insignificant to everyone else but holds an entire relationship inside it. Janine explains that objects carry stories, and those stories are what make this process so emotionally complex. Her approach isn't about tidying up — it's about understanding what something meant before deciding what to do with it.
Research from the American Psychological Association identifies decision-making as one of the most cognitively taxing tasks during bereavement, as grief significantly affects attention, memory, and executive function — which helps explain why even small choices about belongings can feel impossible.
How Do You Move Forward Without Feeling Like You're Letting Go of the Person?
This is where the episode gets really good. Janine shares specific, compassionate strategies for when you want to keep everything, when family members disagree, when there's no sentimental meaning but releasing something still feels wrong, and how to repurpose items that can't be used the way they were intended. She also offers one practical gut-check question that Karyn said she'll be thinking about for a long time.
The through-line of everything Janine shares: the memories live in you, not in the objects.
Listen to the full episode (https://youtu.be/9OXwDgETf6E?si=Ky5BkdP1RfvObfWI) to hear Janine's step-by-step approach, her real client stories, and her advice for anyone who feels completely stuck on where to even begin.
How Does Grief Affect Your Body — And What Can You Do About It?
How Grief Affects Your Body — and What Helps | GRIEF Ladies Podcast
Grief doesn't just live in your mind — it lives in your body, and your nervous system experiences loss as a threat to safety. The short answer to what helps: gentleness, not force. In this episode of the GRIEF Ladies Podcast, Kelly and Karyn are joined by gentle trauma release practitioner and personal empowerment coach Ramona Kossowan to talk about what's really happening in the body during grief, and what actually helps.
Why Does Grief Feel So Physical?
Sleep disruption, digestive issues, pain, a complete loss of identity — these aren't separate from grief, they're part of it. Ramona explains that trauma and grief live in the nervous system, not just in our thoughts. When we experience significant loss, our sense of safety is threatened, and the body responds accordingly. Most people don't recognize this as trauma — especially when a death was anticipated or happened after a long illness. But as Ramona points out, elements of shock exist no matter what, and the caregiving experience itself can leave lasting imprints on the nervous system.
Research published in Psychosomatic Medicine found that bereaved individuals show measurable changes in immune function, cardiovascular stress response, and sleep architecture — confirming that grief's impact on the body is biological, not just emotional.
What Actually Helps the Body Feel Safe Again?
This is where the episode gets practical. Ramona's approach — rooted in polyvagal theory — focuses on sending the nervous system cues of safety rather than pushing through or forcing progress. That can look like a warm breakfast eaten slowly, gentle movement outdoors, time with people who don't require you to perform okay-ness, or working with someone trained to help the nervous system process what it's been holding.
She also names something not enough people hear: a person can be well-meaning and still not be emotionally safe for you right now. That's not a judgment — it's useful information about what your body needs.
The episode includes Ramona's own grief story, which adds depth and honesty to everything she shares about why this work matters.
Listen to the full episode for Ramona's accessible explanation of polyvagal theory, what a gentle trauma release session actually looks like, and her specific guidance on movement and body-based coping skills during grief.
What Learning to Swim Taught Us About Grief — with Cori Myka | GRIEF Ladies Ep. 25
what-learning-to-swim-taught-us-about-grief-cori-myka
What could learning to swim possibly have to do with grief?
More than you'd think.
In Episode 25 of GRIEF Ladies: A Guide to What Comes Next, we welcomed Cori Myka, founder of Calm Within Adult Swim, and the conversation took
a turn we didn't expect — in the best possible way.
Fear. Overwhelm. Not Knowing What Comes Next.
Cori works with adults who are terrified of the water. And as she started describing what her clients experience — the fear, the overwhelm,
the pressure to get it right — we couldn't help but notice how much it sounded like grief.
Because grief puts you in a whole new world too. One where you don't know the rules, you don't know what's coming, and everyone around you
seems to expect you to just figure it out.
Cori shared a powerful framework for slowing all of that down — and it turns out it works whether you're standing at the edge of a pool or
standing at the edge of a whole new life without someone you love.
The Takeaway You Can Try Right Now
One of our favorite moments in this episode was when Cori shared a simple, practical tool you can use anywhere — in a meeting, in a grocery
store line, at a family gathering — when a grief wave hits and you need to come back to yourself.
It's small. It's tangible. And it just might help.
You'll have to listen to get the full details. 🎧
Plus — Cori Shares Something Personal
We also asked Cori how she celebrates those who have died in her own life. Her answer was beautiful, unexpected, and something that stuck
with us long after we stopped recording.
Listen to Episode 25 here: https://youtu.be/aiLqrtJuFI8
Connect with Cori:
📲 @CalmWithinAdultSwim
Have you ever found an unexpected connection between something in your life and your grief? Tell us in the comments of the video — we'd love to hear it.