If you’re asking this, you’re not alone.

Many grieving people worry that what they’re feeling is “too much,” “not enough,” or somehow wrong. In our groups, we often hear: “I feel like I’m losing my mind” — and almost everyone nods in agreement.

While every loss is unique, many people experience similar grief symptoms, including:

• Grief brain (forgetfulness, trouble concentrating)

• Sudden waves of emotion or tears

• Exhaustion

• Headaches or stomachaches

• Feeling disconnected from others

• Questioning faith or meaning

• Feeling okay one moment and overwhelmed the next

Grief is not linear, and there is no single “right” way to grieve. Most reactions to loss are normal responses to a significant change.

If you’d like a deeper explanation of common grief symptoms and why they happen, read our full article: https://www.griefladies.com/blog/is-my-grief-normal

There is no set timeline for grief.

Grief is not something you “get over.” It’s something you learn to live with. In the beginning, it can feel overwhelming and impact every part of your life. Over time, many people notice that grief changes—but it doesn’t follow a set schedule.

You may have days where you feel steady and then suddenly experience a grief burst that brings tears in the middle of the grocery store. Certain dates like birthdays, holidays, death anniversaries, or milestones can make waves feel stronger even years later.

This doesn’t mean you’re going backward. It means grief moves in waves.

For many people, the intensity softens over time. You may grow bigger than your grief — building routines, coping skills, and moments of joy while still carrying the love and the loss.

The truth is, grief is not something you get over. It’s something you learn to live with.

In the beginning, grief can feel overwhelming and impact every part of your life. Over time, it often changes. The waves may become less constant, and you may build routines and coping skills that help you carry it differently.

That doesn’t mean the grief is gone. It means your life begins to grow around it.

If you’re looking for practical guidance on how to cope with grief and move forward without leaving your loved one behind, read our full article on How to Live With Loss. www.griefladies.com/blog/how-to-live-with-loss

Many people say, “I can be in a room full of friends and family and still feel completely alone.”

After a loss, it’s common to feel like no one truly understands what you’re going through. You may feel different than you used to. Conversations can feel surface-level. Support often fades after the funeral, even though your grief hasn’t.

This kind of loneliness is a very common part of grief. You’re adjusting to a significant loss in a world.

If you’d like a deeper look at why grief can feel so isolating and what actually helps, read our full article on Grief and Loneliness.

Grief is not just emotional. It affects your thoughts, your body, your behavior, and sometimes your beliefs.

Emotionally, grief can feel like multiple feelings at once — sadness, anger, guilt, numbness, anxiety, even relief. The waves can shift quickly and feel unpredictable.

Physically, grief can feel heavy in your body. Many people experience exhaustion, headaches, stomachaches, muscle tension, sleep changes, and brain fog (often called “grief brain”). Stress levels rise during grief, which can also make you feel run down or more susceptible to illness.

Grief is a full-body experience.

If you’d like a deeper explanation of the emotional and physical symptoms of grief including why they happen — read our full article on What Grief Really Feels Like.

Many people worry they should be “further along” by now.

But grief doesn’t follow a timeline. It’s not something you get over — it’s something you learn to live with.

Even months or years later, waves can feel intense, especially around anniversaries, milestones, or unexpected reminders. If the death was sudden, traumatic, or complicated, the grief may feel sharper or harder to settle.

Intensity doesn’t automatically mean something is wrong. It often means the loss mattered.

If you’re reliving the death itself, feeling stuck in overwhelming guilt or despair, or unable to function in daily life, it may help to seek additional support.

For a deeper look at long-term grief and how it evolves over time, read our full article on Living With Grief Over Time.

The people we love, and lose, are woven into the fabric of our lives. Grief often highlights just how many connections exist between us and those we are closest to. While there are some bigger and more obvious reminders that a grieving person may be able to expect or anticipate (the holidays, an upcoming birthday), it’s usually the more “mundane” or day-to-day reminders that will catch you off guard. The fact is, our life is made up of a lot of very small moments, and within that, things that are very specific and very personal to us and the people we share our lives with. It’s the reason why an upcoming season of a TV show that you watched together, a box of their favorite cereal in the food store, or a “happy” event that they don’t get to be a part of, can leave a grieving person unexpectedly in tears. Learning to anticipate the unexpected, to stay open to what the process of grieving is (as opposed to what you thought it would be), and continuing to give yourself grace in the most surprising moments of grief are just some of the ways to survive and get through.

What’s important to remember is that the friend or family member who is grieving doesn’t know what they want. Our instinct is to try and figure it out or get them to tell us what that is, but it can change from moment to moment. A grieving person often wants quiet times alone. Sometimes they want to talk and be with other people. There may be times they want to cry and share, and others where they want to laugh and forget. They don’t know when these moments are going to be, and so trying to anticipate or predict the wants and needs of someone who is grieving is nearly impossible. So don’t make that the objective. Instead understand what a grieving person needs is time, space, and understanding that even when they DON’T know what they want, they still know better than anyone else can. Meaning - abstain from giving from unsolicited advice. If you find yourself telling them what they “should” or “shouldn’t” do - don’t. They have an instinct for what they need and they are the expert at their own grief. Be the student and let them teach you what this process is like for them. Listen, be available, don’t rush or hurry, and try not to take things personally. Know that you will have your own needs and own grief through this and it’s okay to mourn not only the person who is died, but the person who you care about who is still here. There is a loss in both. Find outlets for yourself, take a break when you need it, and know that somehow in some way you will recognize this friend or family member again. It just may take more time than you think.

The good news and bad news is that there is no exact timeline for this. It would be nice if we could tell you exactly when help will be most effective, but the truth is that grievers decide on support at many different points of the grief journey. Can it be too early or too late? I think we’d say no to both. For sure it’s never too late. Too early is the interesting one, because with a broader acceptance of mental health support, people do seem to be seeking grief support earlier and earlier. If deciding to start grief support very early on, it will be important to know just how much change lies ahead in regards to your grief. Meaning you may start out when you are still numb, foggy, or in disbelief. You can be running on autopilot without even knowing it. If starting grief support early, remember that you are inviting in the counselor or group to accompany you on this changing journey. Don’t expect immediate relief, and don’t be surprised if you find your grief feels harder with time, despite the support you are receiving. Be mindful too in the early days, of how you may be impacted by the grief of others, should you decide to attend a group. Grief support is wonderful and for most of the grievers who participate, they will credit the support they received for getting them through. Be mindful of how it’s landing for you and be open to trying all different types of support, and at different times of your progress.

Many people have heard of the “five stages of grief.” The model most often referenced comes from Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in 1969, when she was studying people who were actively dying, not people grieving a loss.

Over time, those stages were applied to grief. But they have never been scientifically proven as a predictable sequence that grieving people move through. Grief does not unfold in neat, ordered steps.

Believing you’re supposed to move through stages can actually make you feel like you’re grieving wrong if your experience doesn’t match the model.

There is no single “right” way to grieve.

At the same time, while there isn’t one correct formula, there are things that tend to help people navigate loss. At the GRIEF Ladies, we believe grief isn’t linear but it is something you can learn to carry.

That’s why we developed the GRIEF Ladies Framework — Grounding, Rebuilding, Interacting, Evolving, and Finding — to offer practical guidance and coping tools without forcing people into stages.

There are also patterns that often make grief harder, such as isolating completely or relying on alcohol or other substances to numb the pain.

Understanding that there are no required stages but that there are tools that help can relieve pressure and offer direction without forcing your experience into a formula.