How Do You Celebrate the Life of Someone Who Died?

Honoring the person you loved doesn't have to follow a script. Five guests from the GRIEF Ladies Podcast — one for every letter of the GRIEF framework — share how they encourage grieving people to celebrate a life, keep a memory alive, and carry love forward in ways that feel true to them.

G · Grounding: How can honoring someone help you feel connected when grief feels physical?

Grief lives in the body as much as the mind. Dr. Larissa Tate, clinical psychologist and sleep specialist, understands that the early days of grief are often about survival — eating, sleeping, getting through. But even within that survival mode, small acts of honoring can provide comfort and grounding.

Her approach to celebrating a life focuses on the sensory and the simple — the things that bring someone's presence back in a way the body can feel. A favorite meal. A song. A walk somewhere they loved. These aren't small gestures. They are anchors.

📊 Stat: Research on continuing bonds — the idea that maintaining a connection to someone who has died supports healthy grief — shows that meaningful rituals and sensory reminders can reduce grief-related distress and increase feelings of closeness to the person who died. This isn't about staying stuck. It's about staying connected.

🎙️ Listen to the full episode with Dr. Larissa Tate

‍ ‍R · Rebuilding: How do you help a child celebrate the life of someone they loved?

Children need permission to remember. When someone dies, the adults around them are often so focused on protecting them from pain that they forget to invite them into the celebration of a life. Jennifer's work with children in grief centers on exactly this — creating space for children to remember, honor, and stay connected.

Her approach to celebrating a life with children involves making it tangible and age-appropriate: a memory box, a drawing, a special place in the home where a photo lives. When children have a way to participate in honoring someone, they learn that grief and love belong together.

🎙️ Listen to the full episode with Jennifer on children and grief

‍ ‍I · Interacting: How does a meaningful funeral celebration change the way families grieve together?

The way a life is honored at the end shapes how a family grieves together going forward. Brittany DeMarco-Furman, a fourth-generation licensed funeral director, has witnessed this firsthand across hundreds of families. When a service is personal, intentional, and reflective of who someone truly was, it gives the people left behind something to hold onto.

Her approach to celebrating a life is rooted in storytelling and personalization — music that mattered, objects that tell a story, space for people to share memories out loud. A funeral, in Brittany's view, is not an obligation. It is an opportunity.

🎙️ Listen to the full episode with Brittany DeMarco-Furman

E · Evolving: How do you celebrate a life when your grief is complicated?

Not every relationship was simple. Not every death comes with clean emotions. Holly McNeill, mindfulness educator and creator of the P.E.R.L.O.V.E. Formula, works with people whose grief is layered with things that are hard to name — guilt, anger, relief, regret. Her approach to celebrating a life makes room for all of it.

Holly encourages grieving people to honor the full truth of who someone was — not a perfect version, not a painful version, but the real one. Celebration doesn't require that everything was good. It requires that something was real.

📊 Stat: Studies on complicated grief and ambivalent relationships suggest that finding ways to honor what was meaningful — even within difficult relationships — can support grief integration and reduce prolonged grief symptoms. Acknowledgment of complexity is not a barrier to honoring a life. It is part of it.

🎙️ Listen to the full episode with Holly McNeill

F · Finding: How do you celebrate the life of a pet?

Pets are companions, witnesses, and family. When they die, the grief is real and the need to honor them is just as real. Adam Greenbaum created Love Baxter after the death of his Boston Terrier Baxter, and his work is built on one simple belief: every animal deserves to be celebrated.

His approach to celebrating a pet's life includes memorializing in ways that feel personal — a paw print, a dedicated space in the home, a donation in their name, or simply telling their story out loud to someone who will listen. The love was real. The celebration should be too.

🎙️ Listen to the full episode with Adam Greenbaum on pet loss

The love doesn't end. The celebration is how you carry it.

Celebrating a life isn't something that happens once at a funeral and then stops. It's ongoing — woven into the routines you rebuild, the conversations you have with your children, the rituals you return to, the memories you let yourself feel. Every guest in this post reminds us that honoring someone is not about holding on. It's about carrying them forward.

Watch the video: https://youtu.be/FKsc27itlOY

What Actually Happens in the First Year of Grief and Why Nobody Warns You

The first year after a loss is unlike anything else you will experience. And yet most people go into it completely unprepared because nobody talks honestly about what it actually feels like. That's not because people don't care. It's because grief is still one of the most underdiscussed experiences in our culture. We show up for the funeral. We bring the casseroles. And then, as Kelly Daugherty often says: "By the time the casseroles have been eaten, the phone has stopped ringing, and the funeral is over, then it really hits them." And when it hits, many people ask the same question: Am I grieving, or am I going crazy? The answer, almost always, is: you are grieving. And this is what grief actually looks like.

What Is "Grief Brain" and Is It Real?

Yes. Grief brain is real, and it affects more people than most realize. When you are in early grief, your nervous system is under enormous strain. Stress hormones are elevated. Sleep is disrupted. Your body and mind are working overtime to process something that has no quick resolution. As a result, many grieving people experience significant cognitive changes — including difficulty concentrating, forgetting things they would never normally forget, struggling to read or retain information, and feeling mentally foggy or scattered. This is why Kelly Daugherty and Karyn Arnold — co-hosts of the GRIEF Ladies Podcast and co-authors of The First Year After Loss — designed their new Grief Brain Reader series with the grief brain specifically in mind. The books are intentionally short and digestible. Because handing a grieving person a 300-page book isn't helpful. It's another complication. "Your grief brain can handle this" is the message behind the series. It was written for exactly where you are right now.

The Firsts Nobody Prepares You For

The first year of grief is filled with firsts you didn't ask for. The first birthday without them. The first holiday. The first time someone asks how you're doing and you genuinely don't know what to say. The first time you reach for your phone to call them — and remember. Each of these firsts carries its own weight. And many people are surprised to find that certain ones hit harder than they expected — sometimes months later, sometimes on a completely ordinary Tuesday with no obvious trigger. This is not unusual. This is grief doing exactly what grief does.

Grief Bursts: When It Comes Out of Nowhere

One of the most disorienting experiences in grief is what clinicians sometimes call a grief burst — a sudden, intense wave of grief that arrives without warning. You might be in the grocery store, driving to work, or sitting quietly at home when something — a smell, a song, a phrase — brings the loss rushing back with full force. Kelly Daugherty, an LCSW-R and grief specialist with over two decades of experience, is open about her own experience with this. Her mother has been gone for 32 years. And grief bursts still come. "I had a grief burst the other day about my mom. It's been 32 years. And it still hit me. Because grief doesn't have an expiration date." This is not a sign that something is wrong. It is a sign that you loved someone deeply. And it is completely normal.

What the First Year Actually Needs

The first year of grief deserves focused, intentional support. Not a timeline. Not a checklist. Not someone telling you that you should be further along by now. What helps, according to decades of combined clinical experience from Kelly and Karyn, is this: Finding your people. Co-regulation — the nervous-system science of being around safe, calm people — is one of the most powerful tools in early grief. You need people who can sit with you in it. Who don't need you to perform being okay. Normalizing what you're experiencing. Knowing that grief brain is real, that grief bursts are normal, that the first year is hard for a reason — this alone can reduce the shame and confusion that makes grief even heavier. Short, digestible resources. When you can't concentrate, when reading feels impossible, when your brain can't hold a lot — you need resources that meet you there. Not resources that add to the overwhelm.

The First Year After Loss — Coming Soon

The First Year After Loss, the first book in the Grief Brain Reader series by Kelly Daugherty and Karyn Arnold, will be available now on Amazon on June 16th. It is short. It is honest. It is written for the grief brain — on purpose. And it is for anyone in their first year of loss, anyone who loves someone in their first year, and anyone who has been carrying grief longer than a year and never had a resource that truly met them where they were.

Want to hear more about this book, check out the GRIEF Ladies Bonus Podcast Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0VR2fwgmnguI6P3Yl9qGx2?si=L_jbfIT_Rw6pJymenTAn_g

Who Am I Now? Finding Yourself After Loss

One of the most disorienting parts of grief is not just losing someone you love — it is losing the version of yourself that existed alongside them. Your roles change. Your sense of purpose shifts. The questions get bigger and harder to answer. In Episode 6 of the GRIEF Ladies Podcast, Karyn and Kelly close out the G.R.I.E.F. framework with Finding — the F — and what it actually means to search for yourself again after loss.

Why does grief make you question who you are?

So much of our identity is quietly built around the people in our lives. When someone dies, it is not just their presence that disappears — it is the roles you played together, the decisions you made as a unit, the parts of yourself that only existed in relation to them. Many grieving people describe feeling like they are starting over, like their life was one way and then in an instant looked completely different.

Kelly describes Finding as the intersection of three things: making sense of what happened, discovering what benefits — however small — have emerged from the experience, and reconstructing your identity. Who am I now? Where do I want to go? These are not questions with quick answers, and Karyn points out that in early grief, most people do not yet have the capacity to answer them at all. That is normal. Finding tends to come after the acute weight of early grief has had some time to settle.

Meaning-making — including sense-making, benefit-finding, and identity reconstruction — is one of the most well-supported frameworks in contemporary grief research. Studies show that people who are able to find some meaning in their loss over time report lower levels of grief-related distress and greater long-term well-being. (Sources: Park, C.L. — meaning-making model; bereavement and post-traumatic growth literature)

What Karyn and Kelly are clear about: you do not have to force meaning. And you do not have to find it on a timeline. But staying curious about the question — who am I now, and who do I want to be? — is itself a form of progress.

Is it realistic to want to be happy again?

Karyn offers a reframe in this episode that is worth sitting with: happiness is not the goal. Not because happiness does not matter, but because it is fleeting and unreliable even in the best of times. Chasing happiness as a grief benchmark sets people up to feel like they are failing when the feeling does not hold.

What she focuses on instead is peace. Contentment. A sense of things feeling slightly more predictable, slightly more tolerable than yesterday. A client Kelly has carried with her since 2008 said it plainly: "I don't want to be happy. I just want to be neutral." Neutral meaning peaceful. Calm. Grounded. That, she said, felt sustainable in a way that happiness did not.

The episode closes with a story Karyn tells about a man who asked her, "What difference does it make?" — a question that can stop a grief counselor cold if you're not ready for it. Her answer is one of the most honest and useful things in this episode, and it is worth hearing in her own words.

Listen to Karyn answer that question — and hear what she and Kelly believe is possible when you actually do the work: Listen to Episode 6 of the GRIEF Ladies Podcast → LINK: https://youtu.be/qd4XfdkR14o?si=U7Kn_XzInnO8fTVW

Keep Reading

• Is It Normal to Feel Angry, Guilty, and Resentful When You're Grieving? → LINK: https://youtu.be/x3BKKoWBPv4?si=yZ_iVe_io9kfsC6b — Episode 5 on the complex emotions that can keep you stuck.

• What Is the G.R.I.E.F. Framework and How Does It Work? → LINK: https://youtu.be/_0ld4dnUT7I?si=65dD-m5k3n60cD3z— An overview of all five pillars: Grounding, Rebuilding, Interacting, Evolving, and Finding.

What Should You Do When You're Grieving? 5 Experts Share One Action Step Each

Grief can make it hard to know where to start. Each expert in this post is a guest from the GRIEF Ladies Podcast, and each one was asked a single question: what is one actionable step a grieving person can take right now? Their answers span every letter of the GRIEF Ladies framework — and together, they give you a place to begin.

G · Grounding: What can you do when grief is keeping you up at night?

Sleep is one of the first things grief disrupts — and one of the hardest to reclaim. Dr. Larissa Tate, a clinical psychologist specializing in sleep, anxiety, and trauma, shares that grief sleep disturbances are not a personal failing. They are a physiological response to loss, and there are evidence-based tools to address them.

Dr. Tate's action step: start with your sleep environment and your wind-down routine before reaching for medication. Small, consistent changes — what time you go to bed, how much light you're exposed to in the evening, what you do in the hour before sleep — can create meaningful shifts over time.

📊 Stat: Research shows that bereaved individuals are significantly more likely to experience insomnia than the general population, with some studies indicating rates as high as 40–50% among the newly bereaved. Sleep disruption can worsen emotional regulation, concentration, and physical health — making it one of the most important areas to address early in grief.

🎙️ Listen to the full episode with Dr. Larissa Tate on sleep and grief

R · Rebuilding: How do you support a child who is grieving?

Children grieve differently than adults, and they often need adults to help them rebuild a sense of safety and routine after a loss. Jennifer joined us to talk about what children actually need when someone they love has died — and what the adults around them can do to help.

Her action step: don't wait for a child to bring it up. Create space for the conversation by naming what happened directly and age-appropriately. Children take cues from the adults around them. When adults are willing to talk about death, children learn that their feelings are safe to share.

🎙️ Listen to the full episode with Jennifer on children and grief

I · Interacting: How does a funeral director help families communicate during grief?

Grief changes every relationship — and the days immediately following a death can bring out both the best and the most complicated parts of family dynamics. Brittany DeMarco-Furman, a fourth-generation licensed funeral director at Glenville Funeral Home, has guided hundreds of families through those first hours and days.

Her action step: have the conversation before you need to. Pre-planning a funeral — or even just talking openly about end-of-life wishes — is one of the most loving things a family can do for each other. It removes the burden of guessing during the hardest moments, and it opens a door for honest communication about what matters.

💬 Quote: "It's the last gift you can give your family." — Brittany DeMarco-Furman

🎙️ Listen to the full episode with Brittany DeMarco-Furman on family communication and grief

E · Evolving: What do you do when grief emotions feel impossible to sit with?

The emotions that show up in grief — anger, guilt, fear, regret — can feel like walls rather than doorways. Holly McNeill, known as The Mindfulness Architect, developed the P.E.R.L.O.V.E. Formula after her own experience of profound personal loss. Her work focuses on helping people understand how their minds function under stress so they can engage with pain more consciously.

Her action step: pause before you react to a difficult emotion. You don't have to fix the feeling or push it away — just notice it. Mindfulness isn't about becoming calm; it's about becoming curious. That small shift from reaction to observation can change your entire relationship to the emotion.

📊 Stat: Studies on mindfulness-based interventions for grief have found reductions in grief-related rumination and increases in psychological flexibility among bereaved participants. The ability to observe emotions without being consumed by them is a trainable skill — not a personality trait.

🎙️ Listen to the full episode with Holly McNeill on mindfulness and grief

F · Finding: How do you grieve a pet when no one around you understands?

Pet loss is one of the most common forms of disenfranchised grief — grief that isn't fully recognized or validated by others. Adam Greenbaum created Love Baxter, the world's largest pet end-of-life resource, after the death of his Boston Terrier, Baxter, in October 2024. His episode is a reminder that the grief you feel for an animal is not small, and you don't have to explain it to anyone.

His action step: find your people. Seek out communities — online or in person — where pet loss is taken seriously and your grief is welcome. Isolation makes grief harder. Connection, even with strangers who understand, makes it more bearable.

🎙️ Listen to the full episode with Adam Greenbaum on pet loss and finding connection

One framework. Five action steps. A place to begin.

The GRIEF Ladies framework — Grounding, Rebuilding, Interacting, Evolving, and Finding — was built on the understanding that grief touches every part of life. There is no single right place to start. But there is always somewhere. The five guests in this post each offer one small, real step you can take in the area of grief that feels most pressing for you right now.

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Coping with Pet Loss: Grieving a Beloved Dog & Preparing for End of Life

Coping with Pet Loss: Grieving a Beloved Dog & Preparing for End of Life

Losing a pet can feel devastating — and yet pet grief is often minimized or misunderstood.

In this episode, Adam Greenbaum shares the story of losing his Boston Terrier, Baxter, and how that experience led him to create Love Baxter, a resource supporting pet owners through end-of-life decisions and bereavement.

We discuss:

Why pet loss is often disenfranchised grief

Preparing for a pet’s end of life

The emotional toll of euthanasia decisions

Ways to celebrate and memorialize your pet

Finding support during pet bereavement

Our pets are companions, family, and witnesses to our lives. Their loss matters.

As always, we close with practical steps you can take during your own grief journey.

Why Does Grief Make You Feel Like You've Lost Yourself?

One of the least talked-about effects of grief is what it does to your sense of self. The qualities you relied on — your ability to make decisions, stay organized, show up for people, feel capable — can feel completely out of reach when you are grieving. This is not a personal failing. It is one of grief's most disorienting effects, and in Episode 5 of the GRIEF Ladies Podcast, Karyn and Kelly explain why self-esteem in grief deserves far more attention than it typically gets.

How does grief affect self-esteem?

Grief changes the way you see yourself — sometimes in ways you do not even notice until you are already deep in the cycle. You are not as productive as you used to be. Decisions feel impossible. You feel foggy, unmotivated, unlike yourself. And then you feel bad about feeling that way, which makes it harder to get things done, which makes you feel worse. Karyn describes it as a loop that is very easy to fall into and very hard to climb out of without understanding what is actually happening.

Part of what makes this so destabilizing is how much of our identity is tied to the people in our lives. The person who died may have been the one who told you that you looked good, talked you through hard decisions, or simply believed in you in ways you took for granted. When they die, those things disappear too — and you may not even realize how much of your sense of self was quietly held up by their presence.

Identity disruption — the loss of roles, relationships, and self-perception tied to the deceased — is consistently identified in bereavement research as a core feature of grief, distinct from depression. Rebuilding a coherent sense of self is considered a central task of adaptation after loss. (Sources: Bonanno, G.; identity and meaning-making in bereavement literature)

What can you do when you no longer recognize yourself?

The first step, Karyn and Kelly say, is simply noticing — without judgment. What thoughts are you having about yourself? Where do you feel like you are falling short? What story are you telling yourself about who you are now and what you did or didn't do? Most of the time these thoughts are running on autopilot, and awareness is what makes it possible to interrupt them.

The harder truth is that you do not have to believe everything you think. The story grief tells about you is not the whole truth — but it takes time, and often the right support, to start seeing that clearly.

Karyn and Kelly talk through what this looks like in practice, and what tools can actually help, in the full episode: Listen to Episode 5 of the GRIEF Ladies Podcast → LINK: https://youtu.be/x3BKKoWBPv4?si=6AAFU7TkA0U-RMjN 

Keep Reading

• Is It Normal to Feel Angry, Guilty, and Resentful When You're Grieving? → LINK: — The first half of this topic: the "ugly" emotions of grief and why they are more normal than you think.

• Why Do Relationships Feel So Different After Someone Dies? → LINK:  — Episode 4 on navigating the relationships that shift after loss.

• What Is the G.R.I.E.F. Framework and How Does It Work? → LINK: — An overview of all five pillars and the thinking behind this approach.

Mindfulness for Grief: Finding Peace and Healing After Loss

Mindfulness for Grief: Finding Peace and Healing After Loss

Grief can pull you into the past or push you into fear about the future. Mindfulness invites you back to the present moment.

In this episode, we talk with Holly McNeill about how meditation and mindful awareness can support healing after loss. We explore the PUR-LOVE framework, the role of gratitude in grief, and how acceptance helps create peace — even when life feels shattered.

You’ll hear:

How mindfulness changes your relationship with grief

Why meditation builds emotional resilience

The connection between gratitude and healing

How to practice presence during pain

Healing through grief is not about forgetting — it’s about learning to be here now.

As always, we close with practical steps you can try this week.

Is It Normal to Feel Angry, Guilty, and Resentful When You're Grieving?

Yes — and not only is it normal, these emotions are part of how grief actually works. Anger at the person who died. Guilt over things said or left unsaid. Resentment toward people whose lives seem untouched by loss. These are some of the most common experiences grieving people have, and some of the least talked about. In Episode 5 of the GRIEF Ladies Podcast, Karyn and Kelly name them directly — and explain why they deserve your attention rather than your shame.

What are the "ugly" emotions of grief and why do they show up?

Karyn and Kelly call them the derailers: guilt, anger, regret, and resentment. They show up in all kinds of ways. You might find yourself furious at a doctor, or quietly resentful when a friend complains about their parents who are still alive, or stuck replaying a moment when you lost patience with the person who died. And then — almost immediately — comes the guilt for feeling any of it.

What makes these emotions so hard to navigate is that they rarely travel alone. They tangle together. You feel angry at your loved one for dying and then guilty for the anger. You feel resentment and then shame about the resentment. Karyn notes she has yet to meet a grieving person who didn't carry some level of guilt — regardless of how present, devoted, or close they were to the person who died.

Research on self-compassion and grief suggests that self-critical thought patterns — including guilt and shame — are among the most significant predictors of prolonged grief. Practices that reduce self-judgment have been shown to improve grief outcomes over time. (Sources: Neff, K. — self-compassion research; bereavement and complicated grief literature)

Do these emotions serve a purpose, or are they just keeping you stuck?

Both — and that tension is exactly what makes them so hard to work through. Karyn is clear in the episode: these emotions are not pointless. They are not a sign that something is wrong with you. Kelly describes how guilt and anger can sometimes function as a distraction from the core sadness underneath, which can feel even more painful to sit with. In that way, the "ugly" emotions are actually doing something — even when what they're doing is keeping you from moving forward.

The goal is not to get rid of them. It is to understand them well enough that they stop running the show. Feelings and thoughts are not facts, as Kelly says — but in the middle of grief, that loop is very hard to break without the right support and tools.

Karyn and Kelly go deeper on all of this in the full episode, including what it actually looks like to start untangling these emotions: Listen to Episode 5 of the GRIEF Ladies Podcast → LINK: https://youtu.be/x3BKKoWBPv4?si=6AAFU7TkA0U-RMjN

Other GRIEF Ladies Podcast Episodes:

• Why Does Grief Affect the Way You See Yourself? → LINK: https://youtu.be/x3BKKoWBPv4?si=evcw3fEEpnDbg_cs — The second half of this topic: how grief impacts self-esteem and what to do about it.

• Why Do Relationships Feel So Different After Someone Dies? → LINK: https://youtu.be/ZK6kiFNrImw?si=99YDK6U5nGKMaLAb — Episode 4 on navigating expectations, loneliness, and the relationships that shift after loss.

• What Is the G.R.I.E.F. Framework and How Does It Work? → LINK: https://youtu.be/_0ld4dnUT7I?si=Aj2xmYBprpzckm6g  — An overview of all five pillars and the thinking behind this approach.

What Does a Funeral Director Really Do? Grief, Family Dynamics & the Power of Pre-Planning

What does it really mean to be there for a family in their most vulnerable moment? In this episode of the Grief Ladies podcast, Karyn and Kelly sit down with Brittany DeMarco-Furman, a licensed funeral director, to explore the deeply human side of the funeral industry.

Brittany opens up about why interacting with grieving families is at the heart of everything she does — and how meaningful connection can make all the difference during one of life's hardest chapters. From the importance of pre-planning as a final gift to your loved ones, to navigating complicated family dynamics, to creating personalized memorials that truly honor a life lived — this conversation is full of wisdom, warmth, and practical guidance.

You'll also hear how music, storytelling, and community support can become powerful tools for healing, and why it's never too late to hold a service or celebrate a legacy.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why pre-planning your funeral relieves stress for the people you love most

• How funeral directors support families as guides, not just service providers

• Creative ways to honor and celebrate a loved one's life

• Why open conversations about death are an act of love

• How sharing stories and memories can be part of the healing process

"It's the last gift you can give your family." — Brittany DeMarco-Furman

Whether you're in the midst of grief, supporting someone who is, or simply want to be better prepared, this episode reminds us that honoring a life well-lived is one of the most healing things we can do.

Listen here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3CsgIP7w58wV0IJ87OhgkK?si=b8fbb8e22b294a23

You Don't Have to Grieve Alone: How Grief Coaching Groups Can Help

After a loss, one of the hardest things isn't just the grief itself — it's the feeling that no one around you really gets it. Grief support groups exist for exactly that reason: to put you in a room (or a Zoom) with people who understand because they've been there too. Grief in Common, founded by grief coach Karyn Arnold, offers virtual group support designed around connection, compassion, and real conversation.

What Makes a Grief Support Group Different From Going It Alone?

Grief can shrink your world quickly. Friends may not know what to say. Family members are grieving too, often in different ways. A support group offers something most of us can't find elsewhere — people who don't need you to explain yourself, because they already understand. Research consistently shows that social support is one of the most significant factors in how people move through grief. A group gives you that support on a regular, structured basis.

A 2021 review published in Death Studies found that grief support group participation was associated with significant reductions in feelings of isolation and improvements in overall coping. For many, the group itself becomes a lifeline.

What Groups Does Grief in Common Offer?

Karyn's Zoom grief support groups are organized around specific types of loss, so you're not walking into a generic room — you're connecting with people who share your particular experience. Current groups include support for those who have experienced the death of a spouse or partner, the death of a parent, and estrangement. Special topic seminars are also available on a rotating basis. All groups are led by Karyn and held in a safe, compassionate virtual environment.

What If You're Not Ready for a Group?

Group support isn't the right fit for everyone — at least not right away. If you're looking for something more personal, Karyn also offers one-on-one virtual coaching sessions. Individual coaching is tailored to your unique experience and goals, and gives you dedicated space to make sense of what you're going through, build tools for navigating daily life, and find ways to carry your person forward. Couples sessions are also available for when grief is putting strain on a relationship. Whether you start with individual coaching and move into a group later, or do both at once, Karyn meets you where you are.

What Can You Expect in a Grief in Common Group?

These groups are coaching-based, not therapy — which means the focus is on connection, practical tools, and finding your footing going forward. Sessions are held via Zoom, so you can join from wherever you are. Whether you're newly bereaved or further along and still looking for community, there's space for you here.

‍ ‍Grief can feel isolating, but healing happens in connection."

— Karyn Arnold, Grief Coach & Founder, Grief in Common

Who Is Karyn Arnold?

Karyn Arnold is a grief coach and the founder of Grief in Common. She works with individuals and groups navigating loss of all kinds, guided by empathy, connection, and hope. Karyn is also the co-host of the GRIEF Ladies podcast, where she and I dig into what grief actually looks like — and what it means to keep living alongside it.

Visit Karyn’s website at www.griefincommon.com to sign up for one of her groups or individual coaching session.

Please note: Grief in Common offers coaching services, not therapy. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Why Do Relationships Feel So Different After Someone Dies?

Grief changes you — and that means it changes every relationship around you too. The people you expected to show up may disappear, the things people say can sting even when they mean well, and you can feel completely alone in a room full of people who love you. In Episode 4 of the GRIEF Ladies Podcast, Karyn and Kelly dig into Interacting — the I (Interacting) in the G.R.I.E.F. framework — and why navigating relationships is one of the most exhausting and least talked-about parts of grief.

Why does grief feel so lonely even when people are around?

One of grief's cruelest paradoxes is that loneliness often hits hardest when you are surrounded by people. You may be at a family gathering, or a work event, or even a dinner with close friends, and feel completely disconnected — like you landed on a different planet and everyone around you is speaking a language you no longer understand.

Part of this is the sheer amount of change happening inside you. Your priorities shift. The things that used to matter feel trivial. A teenager Kelly worked with put it plainly after her mother died: she couldn't understand why her friends were upset about things that seemed so small. "When am I going to start caring about things like my friends do again?" she asked. The answer is yes — eventually. But in grief, that gap between where you are and where everyone else seems to be can feel impossibly wide.

Studies on bereavement consistently identify social isolation and loneliness as among the most significant risk factors for complicated grief. Unlike most human needs — if you're tired, you sleep; if you're hungry, you eat — loneliness in grief is not reliably solved by being around people. (Sources: bereavement and social support research literature; Journal of Affective Disorders)

And unlike hunger or fatigue, being with people does not automatically fix the loneliness of grief. That is why understanding how to navigate relationships — who gives you energy, who drains it, what you actually need — matters so much.

What do you do when people say the wrong thing or don't show up the way you hoped?

Unmet expectations are one of the most common sources of pain in grief — and most of the time, you do not even realize you had an expectation until it goes unmet. Someone you counted on goes quiet. A family member pushes a timeline on your grief. A friend says your loved one "is in a better place" when what you needed was for them to just sit with you.

Karyn and Kelly are honest in the episode: there are no magic words. What grieving people are really looking for is not the perfect thing to be said — it is grace, patience, and the feeling of not being rushed. And the harder truth is that educating the people around you, communicating what you need, often falls on you at the very moment you have the least capacity for it.

What helps more than any script? Using their loved one's name. Showing up consistently over time, not just in the first week. Asking rather than assuming.

Karyn and Kelly go much deeper on this in the full episode — including what came up in a grief group Karyn led the same day they recorded: Listen to Episode 4 of the GRIEF Ladies Podcast → LINK: https://youtu.be/ZK6kiFNrImw?si=1u2wZNT_PixBs6bY 

Other GRIEF Ladies Podcast Episodes:

• Why Does Structure Matter When You're Grieving? → LINK:https://youtu.be/wbJVX3Q2iv8?si=IR2rxj4DtA93nnzq   — Episode 3 covers Rebuilding: how routine and small daily anchors help when grief has scattered everything.

• What Are the "Ugly" Emotions of Grief No One Talks About? → LINK: https://youtu.be/x3BKKoWBPv4?si=e3TwQT_4HrKme4xA  — Episode 5 moves into Evolving: anger, guilt, regret, and the impact of grief on self-esteem.

• What Is the G.R.I.E.F. Framework and How Does It Work? → LINK: https://youtu.be/_0ld4dnUT7I?si=dWA5HIuyht01E0bs — An overview of all five pillars and the thinking behind this approach.

What Can You Do Right Now to Support a Grieving Child?

You don't have to have all the answers. You don't have to say the perfect thing.

What grieving children need most is the presence of adults who aren't afraid to stay in the conversation with them.

A few places to start:

Use clear, honest language about what happened. Children deserve the truth, offered gently and attuned to their age and understanding.

Talk about the person who died. Say their name. Share stories. Pull out photos. When children hear adults speak freely about who that person was, they learn that it's safe for them to do the same.

Follow the child's lead. Some days they'll want to talk. Some days they'll want to play. Both are grief. Neither is wrong.

Validate what they're feeling without rushing them past it. Tears are okay. Anger is okay. Laughter is okay too — children move in and out of grief in ways that can surprise adults, and that's completely normal.

And if you're a grieving adult who is also trying to support a grieving child, please don't forget: you need support too. You cannot pour from an empty place, and asking for help — from a friend, a counselor, a support group, or anyone who has spoken to your heart — is not weakness. It's where rebuilding begins.

About the Guest: Jennifer Kimlingen, LCSW

Jennifer Kimlingen is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker specializing in grief, bereavement, traumatic loss, and children's grief. She completed her undergraduate and graduate degrees from Adelphi University in 2014 and has a clinical background spanning medical social work, grief counseling, and private practice. Jennifer currently serves as a bereavement counselor with Choices Health and provides grief education for mental health clinicians through the Agents of Change Continuing Education platform. She presents regularly on children's grief and bereavement and is committed to building a more informed, less avoidant professional culture around death and loss. Jennifer lives in Carlisle, Pennsylvania with her husband and two children.

Listen to this episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2MBleeO1Yy6Xni69EIs4jT?si=7uzYVocvRlGApRDPastrog

Why Does Structure Matter When You're Grieving?

When someone dies, your daily routine often disappears with them — and the empty space that's left can feel just as disorienting as the grief itself. Structure is not about keeping busy or moving on; it is about giving yourself something to hold onto when everything feels chaotic. In Episode 3 of the GRIEF Ladies Podcast, Karyn and Kelly dig into Rebuilding — the R in the G.R.I.E.F. framework — and why creating even small, predictable anchors in your day can make a real difference.

Why does grief destroy your sense of routine?

Grief does not just take the person — it takes the shape of your days. If you lived with someone, made decisions with them, or structured your time around caring for them, their absence leaves a gap in the ordinary fabric of your life. Karyn describes it well in the episode: many grieving people find themselves at three or four o'clock in the afternoon with no idea where their day went. The calendar is empty. The momentum is gone.

Grief brain compounds this. The mental fog, the difficulty concentrating, the forgetfulness — these are not signs that something is wrong with you. They are what happens when your brain is overwhelmed. And without some structure to fall back on, days can pass in a blur that leaves you feeling worse, not better.

Grief activates the brain's stress response systems, impairing function in the prefrontal cortex — the area responsible for planning, decision-making, and focus. Structured routines reduce cognitive load by making certain decisions automatic, which helps preserve mental energy during bereavement. (Sources: neuroscience of grief literature; Harvard Health Publishing)

The goal of rebuilding is not a rigid schedule. It is a few predictable anchors — a morning routine, a consistent mealtime, a designated time to lean into grief rather than avoid it — that make the day feel less like something happening to you and more like something you are moving through.

What does "structuring your grief" actually mean — and why does it help?

One of the most counterintuitive tools Karyn and Kelly talk about in this episode is intentionally making time for grief rather than letting it ambush you. Karyn shares the story of a client who walked every day and used that time to cry, think, and process. When illness interrupted her walks for a couple of weeks, she fell apart at the grocery store — grief that had no outlet finally found one. The lesson: grief is patient. If you do not make space for it, it will make space for itself.

Setting an intention matters too. Kelly shares something Karyn told her shortly after her father died — that there is a difference between collapsing in front of Netflix because you feel guilty doing nothing, and choosing to watch Netflix because you need three hours of rest. That small shift in framing changes everything. Grieving people need permission to rest, and sometimes the permission has to come from themselves.

Hear Karyn and Kelly talk through what this actually looks like in practice — including the daily structure ideas they share with their own clients: Listen to Episode 3 of the GRIEF Ladies Podcast → https://youtu.be/wbJVX3Q2iv8?si=RDMeAnz56crw8hih

Other GRIEF Ladies Podcast Episodes:

• Why Does Taking Care of Your Body Matter When You're Grieving? → LINK: https://youtu.be/vgcyjbdDAkc?si=HB99vcD1fFdu7s0E Episode 2 covers Grounding, the foundation beneath Rebuilding: eating, sleep, and movement after loss.

• How Does Grief Change Your Relationships? → LINK: https://youtu.be/ZK6kiFNrImw?si=bFiPev8UeOy0b_xM  — Episode 4 moves up the framework to Interacting: navigating communication, family dynamics, and connection after loss.

• What Is the G.R.I.E.F. Framework and How Does It Work? → LINK:https://youtu.be/_0ld4dnUT7I?si=89da5nbDXHa9KOmZ  — An overview of all five pillars and the thinking behind this approach.

Grief & Insomnia: CBT-I Tools to Help You Sleep Again

Grief & Insomnia: CBTI Tools to Help You Sleep Again

If you’ve been lying awake at night since someone died, you’re not alone.

Grief often disrupts sleep, making bedtime feel anxious, frustrating, or emotionally overwhelming. For many people, insomnia becomes one of the most exhausting parts of loss.

In this episode of the GRIEF Ladies Podcast, we’re joined by Dr. Larissa Tate to explore how Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I) can help. CBTI is an evidence-based approach that helps rebuild healthy sleep habits — even during grief.

We talk about:

• Why grief interferes with sleep

• How nighttime anxiety develops

• What CBTI actually involves

• Sleep hygiene myths

• The role of medication

• Why napping can worsen insomnia

• Small, manageable steps to improve your sleep

Sleep struggles during grief are common — and they’re treatable.

As always, we close with practical tools you can try this week, because grief changes your life — and you deserve support that helps you live inside that change.

Listen at: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0mJXiHNcn53FF6ipIz5eaN?si=MGSQEUD5S86F_xWP7CNiyw

Related topics: grief and insomnia, CBTI for sleep, sleep problems after loss, nighttime anxiety during grief.

Why Does Taking Care of Your Body Matter When You're Grieving?

Grief is not just emotional — it is physical. The exhaustion, the brain fog, the heaviness you feel in your chest are real, measurable effects happening in your body. Taking care of your physical basics after a loss is one of the most direct ways to give yourself the capacity to move through grief. In Episode 2 of the GRIEF Ladies Podcast, Karyn and Kelly break down what Grounding — the G in the G.R.I.E.F. framework — actually looks like in practice.

What is grounding in grief, and why does it come first?

Grounding is what Karyn and Kelly call the basics: eating, sleeping, and moving your body. These are usually the first things to go when someone dies — and they quietly make everything harder. Grounding is not about being healthy in the traditional sense. It is about giving your nervous system enough to work with so grief does not take everything from you.

When you are not eating enough, the brain fog that already comes with grief gets worse. When sleep is disrupted — and grief almost always disrupts sleep — your emotional regulation suffers, your immune system takes a hit, and the simplest decisions feel impossible. When your body is completely still, grief tends to stay stuck in it.

Grief is associated with elevated inflammatory markers including C-reactive protein and interleukin-6, which increase vulnerability to physical illness during bereavement. Twenty minutes of walking has been shown in multiple studies to be as effective as an antidepressant for mood. (Sources: Kiecolt-Glaser et al.; exercise and depression research literature)*

The reframe Karyn offers in the episode is worth sitting with: these basics are some of the only things you still get to have a say in. When grief makes you feel swept along by a life you didn't choose, what you eat, how you protect your sleep, whether you move your body — those are things you can still control. That is not a small thing.

What can you actually do this week if you're barely functioning?

Karyn and Kelly are not asking you to overhaul anything. The action step from this episode is simply to observe — track your eating, sleep, and movement for three days. Not to judge what you find. Just to notice it. What time did you eat, and how did you feel after? What got in the way of sleep? Did you move at all, and what did that feel like?

Awareness without judgment is where momentum begins. Small, consistent steps build on each other — and sometimes a small shift in one area quietly improves the others. Moving your body a little makes sleep slightly easier. Sleeping better makes it more possible to eat something real. These basics are intertwined, which is exactly why Grounding comes first.

Hear Karyn and Kelly go deeper — including their own personal experiences navigating this after loss: https://youtu.be/vgcyjbdDAkc?si=bPsxl5H0B9-bVsl6

Other GRIEF Ladies Podcast Episodes:

What Is the G.R.I.E.F. Framework and How Does It Work? → https://youtu.be/_0ld4dnUT7I?si=89da5nbDXHa9KOmZ  An introduction to all five pillars and why this approach is different from traditional grief models.

Why Rebuilding Structure After Loss Matters More Than You Think → LINK:https://youtu.be/wbJVX3Q2iv8?si=RDMeAnz56crw8hih — Episode 3 covers the R: how routine and daily structure help grieving people regain a sense of footing.

Anticipatory Grief & Alzheimer’s: Coping While Caring for Someone Still Alive

Anticipatory Grief & Alzheimer’s: Coping While Caring for Someone Still Alive

Grief doesn’t always wait for death.

When you’re caring for someone with Alzheimer’s — especially younger onset Alzheimer’s — you may find yourself grieving ongoing changes long before the end of life. This is anticipatory grief, and it can feel confusing, exhausting, and deeply isolating.

In this episode, we explore:

• What anticipatory grief feels like

• The emotional realities of caregiving

• Why building a support community matters

• Self-care strategies that are actually realistic

• Finding moments of connection and joy along the way

Caregiving is love in action — and caregivers deserve care, too.

As always, we close with practical steps you can try this week.

Watch this powerful episode at: https://youtu.be/UPgVDR284-w?si=w9lhcyCPS-zU4KPF

Grief Support That Actually Helps: Meet the Grief Ladies

Most people who are grieving have heard the same things: there’s no right way to grieve, give it time, let yourself feel it. And while there is truth in all of that, it leaves out the most important question — what do you actually do?

That is the question behind The Grief Ladies podcast. Hosts Kelly Daugherty, LCSW, and Karyn Arnold bring over 50 combined years of experience supporting grieving individuals — and in Episode 1, they introduce themselves, share what drew them to this work, and lay out the GRIEF framework that will guide the entire series.

Kelly’s path into grief work began at 14, after the death of her mother, when she walked into a hospice grief group and finally felt less alone. Karyn found her way in through bereavement work with seniors in her mid-20s — and never looked back. Together, they share a belief that grief is not something to simply endure. There are real tools, practical steps, and small shifts that can make a meaningful difference.

In this episode, you’ll hear about the GRIEF framework — a step-by-step approach covering Grounding, Rebuilding, Interacting, Evolving, and Finding — and why moving forward does not mean leaving your loved one behind. It means taking them with you.

▶️  Listen to Episode 1:  https://youtu.be/_0ld4dnUT7I?si=89da5nbDXHa9KOmZ

Grief in the Body: Somatic Tools for Healing After Loss

Grief in the Body: Somatic Tools for Healing After Loss

Grief doesn’t stay in your thoughts — it often shows up in your body.

In this episode, we explore how loss can affect your identity, self-esteem, and physical health. Joined by somatic coach Jay Moon Fields, we talk about embodied grief, why physical symptoms like tension and stomach aches are common, and simple tools to help process emotions safely.

You’ll learn:

• Why grief can impact your body

• How loss reshapes self-identity

• Practical somatic tools for emotional release

• The “Of Course” validation technique

• How to advocate for yourself during grief

Grief changes you — but it can also deepen your self-awareness.

As always, we close with one practical step you can try this week.

Listen here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/74gX1JHIFGFdE2arAVZAi2?si=0fec4b9a954649a2

Grief After Estrangement: Healing Complicated Relationships Through Ritual & Creativity

Grief After Estrangement: Healing Complicated Relationships Through Ritual & Creativity

What happens when someone you were estranged from dies?

Grief after estrangement can bring layers of emotion — sadness, anger, relief, regret, gratitude — sometimes all at once. When a relationship was complicated, the grieving process can feel confusing and isolating.

In this episode (GRIEF Ladies Episode #29), we talk with Sam Sundius about navigating loss after estrangement, honoring both the hard and meaningful parts of a relationship, and using ritual and creativity as tools for healing.

We explore:

• How grief shows up when the relationship wasn’t simple

• Why grief and gratitude can coexist

• The power of intentional rituals

• Creativity as an outlet for emotional processing

• Finding meaning without rewriting the past

As always, we close with a practical step you can try — because grief changes your life, and you deserve tools that help you live inside that change. Watch this episode at: https://youtu.be/Ab68YHJfgW0?si=eXk9yypx-6jfj0s1

Related topics: estranged parent grief, complicated relationships, ritual for grief, creative grief support.

What Do You Do With a Loved One's Belongings After They Die?

Sorting through a loved one's belongings after they die is one of the hardest parts of grief — and one of the least talked about. The short answer: start with the stories behind the things, not the things themselves, and give yourself permission to go at whatever pace you need. In this episode of the GRIEF Ladies Podcast, Kelly and Karyn sit down with decluttering specialist Janine McDonald to explore the emotional and practical realities of going through someone's stuff.

Why Is This So Much Harder Than It Sounds?

It's rarely the furniture that stops people in their tracks. More often it's the small things — a pillbox, a well-worn hat, something that seems insignificant to everyone else but holds an entire relationship inside it. Janine explains that objects carry stories, and those stories are what make this process so emotionally complex. Her approach isn't about tidying up — it's about understanding what something meant before deciding what to do with it.

Research from the American Psychological Association identifies decision-making as one of the most cognitively taxing tasks during bereavement, as grief significantly affects attention, memory, and executive function — which helps explain why even small choices about belongings can feel impossible.

How Do You Move Forward Without Feeling Like You're Letting Go of the Person?

This is where the episode gets really good. Janine shares specific, compassionate strategies for when you want to keep everything, when family members disagree, when there's no sentimental meaning but releasing something still feels wrong, and how to repurpose items that can't be used the way they were intended. She also offers one practical gut-check question that Karyn said she'll be thinking about for a long time.

The through-line of everything Janine shares: the memories live in you, not in the objects.

Listen to the full episode (https://youtu.be/9OXwDgETf6E?si=Ky5BkdP1RfvObfWI) to hear Janine's step-by-step approach, her real client stories, and her advice for anyone who feels completely stuck on where to even begin.