What Can You Do Right Now to Support a Grieving Child?
You don't have to have all the answers. You don't have to say the perfect thing.
What grieving children need most is the presence of adults who aren't afraid to stay in the conversation with them.
A few places to start:
Use clear, honest language about what happened. Children deserve the truth, offered gently and attuned to their age and understanding.
Talk about the person who died. Say their name. Share stories. Pull out photos. When children hear adults speak freely about who that person was, they learn that it's safe for them to do the same.
Follow the child's lead. Some days they'll want to talk. Some days they'll want to play. Both are grief. Neither is wrong.
Validate what they're feeling without rushing them past it. Tears are okay. Anger is okay. Laughter is okay too — children move in and out of grief in ways that can surprise adults, and that's completely normal.
And if you're a grieving adult who is also trying to support a grieving child, please don't forget: you need support too. You cannot pour from an empty place, and asking for help — from a friend, a counselor, a support group, or anyone who has spoken to your heart — is not weakness. It's where rebuilding begins.
About the Guest: Jennifer Kimlingen, LCSW
Jennifer Kimlingen is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker specializing in grief, bereavement, traumatic loss, and children's grief. She completed her undergraduate and graduate degrees from Adelphi University in 2014 and has a clinical background spanning medical social work, grief counseling, and private practice. Jennifer currently serves as a bereavement counselor with Choices Health and provides grief education for mental health clinicians through the Agents of Change Continuing Education platform. She presents regularly on children's grief and bereavement and is committed to building a more informed, less avoidant professional culture around death and loss. Jennifer lives in Carlisle, Pennsylvania with her husband and two children.
