Death Doulas, Death Cafes, and Grounding Through Grief with Michelle Polacinski

What is a death doula — and do you actually need one? In this episode, end-of-life doula, herbalist, and death cafe facilitator Michelle Polacinski breaks it all down. Michelle became interested in death and dying after a near-deadly reaction to an antibiotic at age 23 left her unable to walk for months, facing her own mortality alone and far from home. That experience transformed her life — and eventually led her to the work she does today.

Michelle explains the role of a death doula and how they work alongside hospice, what happens at a death cafe and why talking openly about death matters, and the Swedish death cleaning movement — a practical and meaningful way to prepare your loved ones and spark important conversations before it's too late.

She also shares her personal grounding practice and her biggest takeaway for anyone navigating grief: when you need to cry, just cry. Don't hold back.

Death Cafe: https://deathcafe.com

Is My Grief Normal?

Many grieving individuals worry if what they are feeling is normal, or if what they’re feeling is too much, not enough, or somehow wrong. This is one of the most common questions people ask after the death of someone they love.

In grief groups, we constantly hear:
“I am going to say something that might sound crazy, but…”
“I feel like I’m losing my mind.”
And almost every time, heads nod around the room in agreement

The reality is that while grief is unique, many grieving individuals experience similar reactions.

Common and normal grief symptoms include:

• Grief brain (forgetfulness, brain fog, difficulty concentrating)

• Grief Bursts: sudden waves of emotion or tears “out of nowhere.”

• Physical symptoms like headaches, stomach aches, a tight chest, or extreme exhaustion

• Sleep changes- extreme exhaustion, trouble falling or staying asleep

• Increased anxiety or irritability

• Feeling disconnected from friends and family

• Deep loneliness

• Questioning your faith or worldview

• Feeling okay one moment and a complete mess the next

  These are all very normal reactions, and this list could go on and on. Grief does not move through predictable stages. It does not follow a straight timeline. It often comes in waves, and there is no timeline for how long this will last.

  
  If you want to hear real conversations about what grief actually feels like, including grief brain, triggers, and why waves happen, we talk openly about this on the GRIEF Ladies podcast, where we normalize the parts of grief people are often afraid to say out loud. Check out new episodes every Wednesday, which is available on all major podcast platforms and YouTube at: GRIEF Ladies - YouTube