Channeling Grief Into Purpose: The Story Behind Get Griefy Magazine with Kera Sanchez

What do you do when you're holding your newborn for the very first time and you get the call that your mother has died? For Kera Sanchez, the answer — eventually — was to build something.

In this episode, Kera shares the origin story of Get Griefy Magazine, a free, colorful, community-driven publication created to make grief approachable and to give grievers a place to feel seen. She talks about the secondary losses that followed her mother's sudden death, how grief reshaped her identity and career, and why community built through vulnerability may be one of the most powerful tools a grieving person has.

This is a conversation about benefit finding, finding your people, and what it looks like to channel pain into purpose — in whatever form that takes.

🔗 Get Griefy Magazine: https://getgreifemagazine.com (Digital edition always free — print available on Amazon)

Listen on your favorite podcast platform or watch on YouTube at: https://youtu.be/4ZncPwl7kms

Secondary Losses in Grief: Why Loss Changes More Than You Think

Secondary Losses in Grief: Why Loss Changes More Than You Think

Grief is rarely about just one loss.

When someone dies, we may also lose routines, identity, security, future plans, and the roles we once held. These are called secondary losses — and they can make grief feel overwhelming and confusing.

In this episode, Nicole Lee joins us to explore:

Why grief feels like more than one loss

Emotional overwhelm and “energy in motion”

Identity changes after death

The idea that loyalty does not require ongoing suffering

How growth can coexist with pain

Grief is deeply personal — and it evolves over time.

Why Does Grief Make You Feel Like You've Lost Yourself?

One of the least talked-about effects of grief is what it does to your sense of self. The qualities you relied on — your ability to make decisions, stay organized, show up for people, feel capable — can feel completely out of reach when you are grieving. This is not a personal failing. It is one of grief's most disorienting effects, and in Episode 5 of the GRIEF Ladies Podcast, Karyn and Kelly explain why self-esteem in grief deserves far more attention than it typically gets.

How does grief affect self-esteem?

Grief changes the way you see yourself — sometimes in ways you do not even notice until you are already deep in the cycle. You are not as productive as you used to be. Decisions feel impossible. You feel foggy, unmotivated, unlike yourself. And then you feel bad about feeling that way, which makes it harder to get things done, which makes you feel worse. Karyn describes it as a loop that is very easy to fall into and very hard to climb out of without understanding what is actually happening.

Part of what makes this so destabilizing is how much of our identity is tied to the people in our lives. The person who died may have been the one who told you that you looked good, talked you through hard decisions, or simply believed in you in ways you took for granted. When they die, those things disappear too — and you may not even realize how much of your sense of self was quietly held up by their presence.

Identity disruption — the loss of roles, relationships, and self-perception tied to the deceased — is consistently identified in bereavement research as a core feature of grief, distinct from depression. Rebuilding a coherent sense of self is considered a central task of adaptation after loss. (Sources: Bonanno, G.; identity and meaning-making in bereavement literature)

What can you do when you no longer recognize yourself?

The first step, Karyn and Kelly say, is simply noticing — without judgment. What thoughts are you having about yourself? Where do you feel like you are falling short? What story are you telling yourself about who you are now and what you did or didn't do? Most of the time these thoughts are running on autopilot, and awareness is what makes it possible to interrupt them.

The harder truth is that you do not have to believe everything you think. The story grief tells about you is not the whole truth — but it takes time, and often the right support, to start seeing that clearly.

Karyn and Kelly talk through what this looks like in practice, and what tools can actually help, in the full episode: Listen to Episode 5 of the GRIEF Ladies Podcast → LINK: https://youtu.be/x3BKKoWBPv4?si=6AAFU7TkA0U-RMjN 

Keep Reading

• Is It Normal to Feel Angry, Guilty, and Resentful When You're Grieving? → LINK: — The first half of this topic: the "ugly" emotions of grief and why they are more normal than you think.

• Why Do Relationships Feel So Different After Someone Dies? → LINK:  — Episode 4 on navigating the relationships that shift after loss.

• What Is the G.R.I.E.F. Framework and How Does It Work? → LINK: — An overview of all five pillars and the thinking behind this approach.