Why We Called It "How to Grieve with Love Instead of Pain"

The title came from something we see again and again - in our 50 years of combined experience supporting grieving individuals.

People come to us believing, sometimes without even realizing it, that the pain is the point. That suffering is proof of love. That if the grief isn't hurting, something is wrong. That moving forward means moving away from the person who died.

We wanted to write a book that gently pushed back on all of that.

Here's what we believe: your connection to the person you lost shouldn't have to live in suffering.

That doesn't mean grief isn't painful. It is. It will be. Nothing about loving someone and losing them makes that pain disappear. We're not here to tell you otherwise.

But pain and love are not the same thing. And while pain may always be part of your story, it doesn't have to be your last or lasting connection to the person you lost. We want that forever connection to be about love.

The book names something we see at the heart of why so many grieving people stay stuck:

"Sometimes we hold on to these roadblocks because of our sense of love and loyalty. To be a loving person is to suffer. What kind of person would I be if I didn't feel bad?"

That belief keeps people from moving forward more than almost anything else we see. And it makes complete sense. If the pain is how you stay connected, letting go of the pain can feel like letting go of them.

It isn't. And this book is our attempt to help you feel that.

This book is built for the people we wrote about in the dedication:

"The stuck ones. The terrified ones. The numb ones. The angry ones. The ones barely holding on. The ones doing it awkwardly. The ones questioning every instinct and second-guessing themselves at every turn. The people trying to rebuild a life that no longer feels familiar, while carrying more than anyone around them can see."

That's who this book is for.

Available Tuesday, September 29th on Amazon.